Summer should get a speeding ticket.

But it probably couldn’t afford it.

New York City summer.

I heard it all through winter.

“Oh I love the city in the summer…”

“New York is so beautiful in the summer…”

“I can’t wait for summer in the city…”

Labor Day is upon us and with it the inescapable retreat of summer.

And I’m not that upset about it.

For a server in the city, summer means one thing – a painful derailing of our income.

New York City natives flee this sea of concrete and metal once the sun starts its’ relentless beat down of these paved and packed avenues.

You step outside and hit a wall of oppressive heat. You feel as though you’ve been kicked in the chest by humidity. Go ahead and gasp for air, it won’t help.

If you dare venture away from your air conditioned cubicles or apartments or hotel rooms, turn to the person beside you and ask them from where they hail. Upper East Side? Tribeca? Jersey?

Doubt it.

Summer in the city is quiet, filled with tourists that flock to Times Square and downtown. If you are off the beaten path, or can’t be found in the Zagat or latest issue of a New York City travel book, you’re going to be spending a lot of time talking to your peers, or yourself. If you’re in midtown Manhattan, pack your bags and head for the Hamptons, because that’s what everyone else does.

Obviously, the wise take vacations.

I’ve road-tripped to Michigan. Only one bruise left from that drunken canoe trip.

I’ve flown to Orlando. Universal Studios is a world of fun, even in the rain.

I’ve bussed to Boston, plenty. I love you all, lord knows how I make it possible to see as many people as I do when I’m there.

I’ve bought a new laptop. Going from a PC to a Mac is kind of like going on a fabulous vacation that never ends.

I’ve bought an Air Conditioner. I will never again take living without sweating for granted.

I’ve watched a Yankees/Red Sox game at Fenway Park. Never underestimate the power of sitting third row up from the field.

It’s been a full summer.

Which led to…

an empty bank account.

Was it worth it?

I’ll let you know in two weeks once all my bills are paid. Why must they all come at once? Rude.

Oh…and then there’s that speeding ticket I got…

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