What’s the Femme Fatale’s Fan Mail Address?

I can’t remember if it was my 8th or 9th birthday. Maybe it was my 7th. At that age, it’s all fuzzy. All that really matters is there’s a party, cake, ice cream, and a bunch of presents with your name on it.

My birthday parties consisted of ten or so giggling, screaming, running girls, and one boy. The same boy. Every year. Until I was 11. A cousin that has since become so distant I can’t even find him on Facebook.

I remember the paper I wrote on. Big wide ruled paper, the kind with the dotted line in the center of two solid lines. Training paper as we learned to scroll the first line all the way up to the second floor ceiling, then back down again and up, just to the first floor, and down again in a curve to form an ‘h’.

Dear Boyz II Men,

It would be an invitation to my birthday, so it had to include all the pertinent information. Where the party was taking place…I scribbled “My Backyard” and then my address.

What time? 2 o’clock sounded about right.

Oh, and they should know to bring bathing suits. It’s a pool party after all.

If they wanted, they could bring Mariah Carey, since they sang so well. If they could just come and sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me I’d be the happiest girl in the world.

I had a copy of one of those teen magazines hidden under my bed. It had all the fan-mail addresses for any star you ever wanted to send mail to. I’d left it open to that page.

Do those magazines still do that? Do they even still exist? Can you still send a fan mail letter to a fan-mail address? I was asking my friend the other day as we cruised along International Drive in Orlando lamenting about Britney Spears’ like we were 12 year old girls.

“She really just needs a friend – someone who doesn’t want anything from her, that doesn’t need anything from her.”

Seriously though, did you see that MTV interview with her? Was she sick? Her voice sounds like an alien inhabited her body, very Men in Black.

C’est vrai.

I googled when I got home. I don’t know if you can find it in magazines but don’t think I won’t try. What I do know is that if I decided I really wanted to send Abigail Breslin a fan letter, I totally could.

I found this fabulous website “Teen Star Fan Club” that points you in the direction of the proper mailbox for your favorite tweens. Don’t worry, they have a ‘How-To’ page if you’re not sure how to send fan-mail. Bet it’s been awhile. There’s a nice selection there too, from tons of people whose names you don’t recognize and probably never will to the Jonas Brothers, these people have you taken care of. So if you don’t mind…

Dear Abigail,

Hi! I hear your favorite movie is Finding Nemo. I love that movie too. Also, how was learning your dance for Little Miss Sunshine? So I’m having a birthday party…

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