Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
There have been moments where all I wanted to do was curl up under a rock somewhere and not come out.
I remember vividly driving along one day after the incident referred to here and thinking, “It wouldn’t take much. The road is littered with trees, whipping around that corner, I could totally go headfirst into a tree and they would think it is just reckless driving. It’d be so easy to just…end.”
But the thought was fleeting. In the very moment, I scolded myself for thinking something so selfish and absurd.
“Oh yeah? You’re going to give up just like that?”
“No, no, I was just…”
“Just what? Seriously? You’ve handled a lot, don’t even contemplate such bullshit, I won’t stand for it. I’d slap you if I weren’t you.”
And that was that. But, I also left school, moved home and almost didn’t complete the spring semester of my senior year. It took a lot of talking, and a lot sitting on my couch with my mother’s arms wrapped around me, or holding my goddaughter snug on my chest to take me to a place where I didn’t want to cry everyday.
Have you ever felt like you wanted it all to end?
You’re not alone. Find someone to talk to. If they won’t listen, go to the next person. Just know, that you’re not alone and there are a lot of people out there that want to help you.
A great place to start if you don’t want to go to someone you know, or you don’t know who to talk to, is Suicide Hotlines. They have phone numbers for every state in the US as well as international hotlines. Don’t wait, and don’t give in, don’t give up.
there’s something bout life that’s worth living
there’s something bout love that’s worth having
there’s something bout both, that’s worth fighting for
– worth fighting for, sarah siskind