It’s been…a while. Yes, I’ve put off writing this post. I’m desperately trying to go in order with this list no matter how unnecessary that may be.
30 Days of Truth: Day 8 – Someone Who Has Made Your Life Hell or Treated You Like Shit.
A blog like this opens a can of worms so I did a lot of thinking before I responded to the call of duty I put on myself by starting this list.
Sure, there are people in my past who have made my life hell or treated me like shit. Note: people in my past. For the most part, after time I was able to talk to them about it. I’ve gotten past the people who made my life hell, or treated me like shit. I don’t see a need to rehash old wounds that have healed over with time and some honesty.
A year ago this time, I would probably have had a lot more to say and it would have come out like a volcano spewing fire. There were so many things that needed to be aired out. Then they were, I talked with this person, I talked with that person.
There is one person I haven’t talked to. But I couldn’t say he made my life hell. He gave me a week of hell, and hours of treating me like shit. We were in the car and I felt like a captive. I loved him in a way that makes your heart ache. I couldn’t understand who he was, or why he would treat me that way. In my mind, as he picked me apart, from ringtone to the way I sat in the seat, to the voice on my GPS. I kept asking, why? Why is he being like this? This isn’t the man I know. What happened?
Apart from a talk on the boardwalk in the middle of the night a month or so after and a chance bumping into him at a bar almost a year ago, I haven’t seen or heard from him since that week.
My heart still aches when I think of how I felt on that car ride. I was completely disoriented. It’s the one time in my life where I let someone make me feel like shit and just, let it go.
I see him again, I won’t ask him any of these questions. With that said, at the time, an apology for that week would have done a lot for me. Instead, I moved on without one, forced to see the man I had loved with new eyes.
I left it where it will always be – in the past.